Tomorrow will be the end of week 1, round 2. All in all, she has tolerated this round MUCH better than the first round. She has had a little nausea off and on throughout the week, but it hasn't been constant like it was before.
Her main issue this round has been fatigue. All of you that know mom know she likes to keep busy all the time. So her routine has been to rest for a while, then get up and do stuff for a while (throughout the day).
She is also restless a lot. I told her maybe some more Ativan (anti-anxiety medication) will help her with the restlessness. She LOVES gardening (as you all know), so she will do some watering around the yard then go rest. I offered to do the watering, but she said she likes to "stay busy".
I know it's good for her to keep a routine even with everything that is going on now. So as long as she's happy, I'll stay outta mom's way. She sure is a little firecracker, and stubborn I might add (probably where I got it from). I think the stubborn factor will keep her fighting the fight. She's so strong.
She has also been keeping busy with sewing the baby blankets for the babies at my work. Mom showed me how to work a sewing machine (I think I need more practice though). I love that she can at least do a few things to keep her mind off the serious stuff.
I am so blessed that I have a job where I am part time right now. I've had a week off and have spent the majority of time with her.
Will keep you all posted. Love you all!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thank you for the rain
GREAT SONG that made me break down today unexpectedly. Didn't even know it existed, but thanks to Pandora, I heard it.
I was sitting outside on my patio arranging flowers for one of my friend's, Jenn, who is coming home from the hospital today after she got her thyroid removed due to cancer (I swear I am surrounded by it all of a sudden).
As I was arranging the beautiful pink roses with baby's breath, the Martina McBride song (of course it was about cancer), "I'm gonna love you through it" came on my pandora. At first, I was like, "Oh awesome song! I can totally relate to this right now." Then... it made me fall apart sobbing.
Kevin was inside and heard me crying. He came outside and gave me a huge hug. See the thing with this whole cancer stuff, the crying thing sneaks up on you when you don't expect it....AND then the strange thing happened... It started to rain as he was hugging me (Let me rewind, the weather in San Diego right now is perfectly sunny, a few clouds scattered around the sky with some humidity today.) Us San Diegans' don't see the rain too much here (especially in September).
It rained for about 20 seconds then STOPPED. I didn't even believe Kevin that it had actually rained (I had my headphones on and my eyes closed as he was hugging me), but he said, "Look at our cars. See the rain drops on our windshields, and look at the ground. It really rained babe." "Weird!" I thought. Is this a sign or am I going crazy? I think right now I want to take it as a sign from the big guy. You fellow readers can take it anyway you want, but even my boyfriend believes it was a sign (who tends to be skeptical and realistic about things).
One of my friends from work, Kathy, told me about 2 months ago that you have to have your antennas up to see the signs from him. I never had my antennas working until recently. Quite an awesome thing!
So whenever I am sad, I am going to think back on this moment and smile forever.
I'm glad I have my antennas now.
Thank you for the rain!
love,
Heather
Monday, September 19, 2011
Ready for round 2!
Mom had her second round of the cancer killing poison today. I wasn't able to go because I had to sleep for work (woo hooo night shift!).
Little sister Lisa went with her, and mom had the same sweet nurse again. Wish I could have been there to entertain mom and say hi to Kara.
I called her tonight, and she's feeling well so far. I'm sure by tomorrow she will start to feel the effects of the chemo again... but I will be up there in the morning, ready for this second battle. I think this time around we're a little more prepared for the unwanted side effects (i.e.-nausea, extreme fatigue). We are going to make this round better because we know a little more of what to expect. My one main goal during this round is KEEP MOM LAUGHING. I have a few ideas up my sleeve.... but if anyone has any thoughts of what could work, let me know :)
On another note, here are some books that friends have recommended so far through this journey:
Can not wait to read this book! Mom's friend Connie sent us this one. I had seen it online and was wanting to buy it but she beat me to it. Thank you so much Connie! You've given us such support so far :) I'm so glad your in my mom's life!
Now this book I have read, and I must say.. WOW!! It is incredible. I think during this week while my mom is going to be feeling crappy with chemo, I will read it again. This story gives me all the strength and inspiration I need to get through this. I recommend this book to ANYONE who needs a little reminder about the life after this one.
Little sister Lisa went with her, and mom had the same sweet nurse again. Wish I could have been there to entertain mom and say hi to Kara.
I called her tonight, and she's feeling well so far. I'm sure by tomorrow she will start to feel the effects of the chemo again... but I will be up there in the morning, ready for this second battle. I think this time around we're a little more prepared for the unwanted side effects (i.e.-nausea, extreme fatigue). We are going to make this round better because we know a little more of what to expect. My one main goal during this round is KEEP MOM LAUGHING. I have a few ideas up my sleeve.... but if anyone has any thoughts of what could work, let me know :)
On another note, here are some books that friends have recommended so far through this journey:
Can not wait to read this book! Mom's friend Connie sent us this one. I had seen it online and was wanting to buy it but she beat me to it. Thank you so much Connie! You've given us such support so far :) I'm so glad your in my mom's life!
Now this book I have read, and I must say.. WOW!! It is incredible. I think during this week while my mom is going to be feeling crappy with chemo, I will read it again. This story gives me all the strength and inspiration I need to get through this. I recommend this book to ANYONE who needs a little reminder about the life after this one.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
What is life?
Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is a mystery, unfold it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a struggle, face it. Life is beauty, praise it. Life is a puzzle, solve it. Life is opportunity, take it. Life is sorrowful, experience it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a goal, achieve it. Life is a mission, fulfill it.
Author unknown
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Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Hope is found again
Hello all! Before we headed into round 2 of the chemo battle, mom had some extra energy (I think the first round of chemo was wearing off). Her main goal of the day was to go and visit her friends at work. We got up that morning and gathered tea party materials and headed down to Palomar College Library in Escondido. She loved being there. We had a little tea party with Connie, and Katherine. I could tell she was pretty much back to her normal self, because she was trying to get back into work already (grabbed the keys to check for books in the book drop off, and helped close up the library) It was so cute seeing her light up.
Before her 2nd chemo, I also took mom shopping. We went to north county fair, got some awesome pedicures, and went to the fabric store ( I know way too much fun for one day :) ) Mom had never had a pedicure before. She was pleasantly surprised that they do know how to do toes right. lol! We then headed to the fabric store to get fabric to make baby blankets for the preemies in the NICU I work at. I bought her a sewing machine, and she was sooooo excited!! I hadn't seen her smile like that in a while. She kept saying, "I am so happy! I love it!" (like a kid on christmas morning seeing that Santa had come) I didn't realize that it would make her so happy, but I was definitely glad to do so.
Taking a break from sewing baby blankets =)
So.... the "plan" with this chemo stuff is not exactly set in stone apparently. We went in for mom's scheduled meeting with her oncologist on monday at 10am, then were planning on going to round 2 for chemo at 11am, but he cancelled it (for good reasons, I'll get into it later :) ) I guess having that MD behind your name, you kinda get to run the show :)
Sunday night made me super anxious. Why? Well.... after getting bad news upon bad news for the past 3 months regarding mom, I was thinking we were just going to get more of it with the oncologist on Monday. I cried myself to sleep that night, woke up, grabbed some coffee, then was on my way to mom's appointment. We waited in the waiting room for a good amount of time before mom's name was called. As we were waiting for the doctor once mom had her room, we of course, were joking around trying to make the best of it. I made dad laugh super hard with some of the jokes (We hadn't seen that in a long while).
Finally, the doctor came in with a smile on his face. I was guarded when he first came in, but when he read the results of the very recent MRI (done a couple days ago), I felt relief. Don't ask me why, but now a days, getting any kind of news that doesn't say "more cancer is found" is the best news in the world.
"Once you choose hope, anything's possible." ~Christopher Reeve
He wanted to do this recent MRI because he had thought the tumor found mom's breast from the original PET scan (done a month ago) was not a metastatic part of the original cancer found in her ureter in June, but in fact a separate cancer. He is pretty convinced it is breast cancer too. "Seriously?!?, another kind of cancer at the same time?!?"I thought. Even though he had already told us this news 3 weeks ago, sometimes this stuff doesn't get old... BUT no more cancer anywhere else (besides the liver, lung, and breast according to this recent MRI) WHEW!!
Soooo..... instead of starting the chemo right away, he wanted to get a biopsy done to see what kind of cancer we were really dealing with in the breast. ( I guess the cancer in her ureter doesn't usually metastasize to the breast) Why does this matter? Well the doc said that if it is indeed breast cancer, he would add more drugs to mom's chemo schedule and try to kill off that cancer as well. Better to have full knowledge about what's going on so we can nip ALL of this cancer in the bud!
So all in all, HOPE has been found again in our family.
Before her 2nd chemo, I also took mom shopping. We went to north county fair, got some awesome pedicures, and went to the fabric store ( I know way too much fun for one day :) ) Mom had never had a pedicure before. She was pleasantly surprised that they do know how to do toes right. lol! We then headed to the fabric store to get fabric to make baby blankets for the preemies in the NICU I work at. I bought her a sewing machine, and she was sooooo excited!! I hadn't seen her smile like that in a while. She kept saying, "I am so happy! I love it!" (like a kid on christmas morning seeing that Santa had come) I didn't realize that it would make her so happy, but I was definitely glad to do so.
Beautiful Toes!
New sewing machine!
So.... the "plan" with this chemo stuff is not exactly set in stone apparently. We went in for mom's scheduled meeting with her oncologist on monday at 10am, then were planning on going to round 2 for chemo at 11am, but he cancelled it (for good reasons, I'll get into it later :) ) I guess having that MD behind your name, you kinda get to run the show :)
Sunday night made me super anxious. Why? Well.... after getting bad news upon bad news for the past 3 months regarding mom, I was thinking we were just going to get more of it with the oncologist on Monday. I cried myself to sleep that night, woke up, grabbed some coffee, then was on my way to mom's appointment. We waited in the waiting room for a good amount of time before mom's name was called. As we were waiting for the doctor once mom had her room, we of course, were joking around trying to make the best of it. I made dad laugh super hard with some of the jokes (We hadn't seen that in a long while).
Finally, the doctor came in with a smile on his face. I was guarded when he first came in, but when he read the results of the very recent MRI (done a couple days ago), I felt relief. Don't ask me why, but now a days, getting any kind of news that doesn't say "more cancer is found" is the best news in the world.
"Once you choose hope, anything's possible." ~Christopher Reeve
He wanted to do this recent MRI because he had thought the tumor found mom's breast from the original PET scan (done a month ago) was not a metastatic part of the original cancer found in her ureter in June, but in fact a separate cancer. He is pretty convinced it is breast cancer too. "Seriously?!?, another kind of cancer at the same time?!?"I thought. Even though he had already told us this news 3 weeks ago, sometimes this stuff doesn't get old... BUT no more cancer anywhere else (besides the liver, lung, and breast according to this recent MRI) WHEW!!
Soooo..... instead of starting the chemo right away, he wanted to get a biopsy done to see what kind of cancer we were really dealing with in the breast. ( I guess the cancer in her ureter doesn't usually metastasize to the breast) Why does this matter? Well the doc said that if it is indeed breast cancer, he would add more drugs to mom's chemo schedule and try to kill off that cancer as well. Better to have full knowledge about what's going on so we can nip ALL of this cancer in the bud!
So all in all, HOPE has been found again in our family.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Tea Time and Birthdays anyone?
For all of my fellow blog followers; I am sorry for being away for so long. Sometimes this life thing gets in the way and I have gotten distracted. These past couple weeks have been happy, sad, funny, and emotional (especially with this cancer crap that mom has). So let me update:
Mom's 60th Birthday was August 16th. I decided that we should all go to a beautiful restaurant that overlooks San Diego Harbor. The place is called C-Level. For all of you that live in the area but have never been, I highly recommend it.
Mom hadn't started chemo at this point so she still had some post-op fatigue, but not to the level that it is now. We sat on the outside porch of the restaurant and we were literally 5 feet away from the ocean. We had an entire view of the skyscrapers of downtown, and the beautiful boats passing by. It was a typical San Diego summery day and very picturesque.
So we ate lunch and the girls (my sisters, mom, and I) went outside the restaurant and looked at the view. As we taking in the scenery, my sister spotted dolphins about 200 feet away from us. Okay so all of you from San Diego, when have you ever spotted dolphins swimming so close to the harbor? Alright well call me crazy, but since my mom has been going through this whole experience, I have built more of a relationship with the big guy upstairs. I believe and will always believe that he gave us a little reminder that day with those dolphins (since we weren't able to go on our Hawaiian family vacation). My initial reaction was, "Okay God, I get it." I thanked him for the awesome experience that will forever be a memory.
2 Days ago, my sisters, mom and I went to the Aubrey Rose Tea Room in La Mesa. We had so much fun! Mom kept saying, "I love this", and "We should have done this sooner!" We got dressed up with hats and boas that the place provided. We ordered 2 kinds of tea (English Breakfast of course, and Aubrey Rose), they had cucumber sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, multiple kinds of dessert, and scones. Too much food for all of us for sure! Although it was hot as hell that day too, we wouldn't have traded the experience for anything in the world. I am so glad we can create these memories.
Mom starts round 2 of chemo this upcoming monday, so if she is feeling well enough, I plan to take her to the tea room after every completed round to celebrate. I didn't realize growing up, why my mom's style is the way it is with her decorations, but going to the Aubrey Rose Tea Room made me realize that she is indeed a British soul! She bought me a beautiful tea cup. I plan on adding more to the collection whenever we go =)
Thanks mom for making me grow up drinking tea with you. It's how I cope when I've had a hard day (okay...well sometimes I like wine now too). When I used to live at home, mom would see that I was sad, or just frustrated with things, she would pour me some tea and we would sit there and complain to each other about our latest issues. Thank God for tea and of course my beautiful mother! This is a tradition I hope my children will enjoy someday too!
Mom's 60th Birthday was August 16th. I decided that we should all go to a beautiful restaurant that overlooks San Diego Harbor. The place is called C-Level. For all of you that live in the area but have never been, I highly recommend it.
Mom hadn't started chemo at this point so she still had some post-op fatigue, but not to the level that it is now. We sat on the outside porch of the restaurant and we were literally 5 feet away from the ocean. We had an entire view of the skyscrapers of downtown, and the beautiful boats passing by. It was a typical San Diego summery day and very picturesque.
So we ate lunch and the girls (my sisters, mom, and I) went outside the restaurant and looked at the view. As we taking in the scenery, my sister spotted dolphins about 200 feet away from us. Okay so all of you from San Diego, when have you ever spotted dolphins swimming so close to the harbor? Alright well call me crazy, but since my mom has been going through this whole experience, I have built more of a relationship with the big guy upstairs. I believe and will always believe that he gave us a little reminder that day with those dolphins (since we weren't able to go on our Hawaiian family vacation). My initial reaction was, "Okay God, I get it." I thanked him for the awesome experience that will forever be a memory.
2 Days ago, my sisters, mom and I went to the Aubrey Rose Tea Room in La Mesa. We had so much fun! Mom kept saying, "I love this", and "We should have done this sooner!" We got dressed up with hats and boas that the place provided. We ordered 2 kinds of tea (English Breakfast of course, and Aubrey Rose), they had cucumber sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, multiple kinds of dessert, and scones. Too much food for all of us for sure! Although it was hot as hell that day too, we wouldn't have traded the experience for anything in the world. I am so glad we can create these memories.
Mom starts round 2 of chemo this upcoming monday, so if she is feeling well enough, I plan to take her to the tea room after every completed round to celebrate. I didn't realize growing up, why my mom's style is the way it is with her decorations, but going to the Aubrey Rose Tea Room made me realize that she is indeed a British soul! She bought me a beautiful tea cup. I plan on adding more to the collection whenever we go =)
Thanks mom for making me grow up drinking tea with you. It's how I cope when I've had a hard day (okay...well sometimes I like wine now too). When I used to live at home, mom would see that I was sad, or just frustrated with things, she would pour me some tea and we would sit there and complain to each other about our latest issues. Thank God for tea and of course my beautiful mother! This is a tradition I hope my children will enjoy someday too!
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