My shadow days are over.

Our Challenges

When all we see,
is darkness and gloom.
We feel totally helpless,
while running from doom.

We eventually confront,
our inner brick wall.
Our choice is to break it,
or give up and fall.

We may search for our strengths,
waiting patiently deep inside.
From life’s obstacles,
there’s no reason to hide.

All our challenges,
we must embrace and defeat.
As we open our eyes,
our true purpose we’ll greet.

Let’s take a step outside,
our routine comfort zone.
This will carve a path,
where our goals we shall own.

Our personal challenges,
quite difficult may seem.
But, if we believe in ourselves,
life will be as sweet – as a dream.

by anitapoems.com

Keep on keepin' on!

"Time to photoshop my life. Touch up the edges, adjust the tones, blur out the background, focus on me, and crop people out." --Unknown

Life has changed in so many ways these past four months since mom has been gone.  This is an adjustment.  I still sometimes don't believe it's real.

God, thank you for bringing me peace and comfort when I need you.  I wish people embraced you more, I KNOW the world would be a much better place.

To my sisters and dad- love you with all my heart.  We're in this crazy ride without momma now, but she gave us the right tools to make it through the rest of our lives.

To the people that have left my life recently, thank you for the good times.  I will always cherish the memories.  I am a better person for knowing you all.  Life goes on.  Time to close this chapter in my life and finally say hello to the next one.  It's gonna be a beautiful chapter, I just know it :)

Love is not enough....

"Love Is Not Enough" by Jo Dee Messina


Sometimes I have to tell myself to keep on breathing
My heart is not believing you're gone
I try hard to remind myself time will do the healing
'Cause right now I'm not feeling all that strong

Everything's a memory
And they're taunting me
Just one simple thing
And I'll break down and cry

Chorus:
Why I wanna scream it's just not fair
Pray to god I didn't care
I wanna turn back time
Turn back time and have you here with me
I want to find someone to blame
But sometimes life gets in the way
And it doesn't care how much we love
'Cause sometimes love is just not enough

Oh we took a chance we gave it all we had and couldn't make it
It didn't work for all the times we tried
No matter how we loved, it seemed the odds were stacked against us
Now we have to live our separate lives

Well I'm not ready yet
Too much to forget
Oh it still feels like
A part of me is dying

Repeat chorus

Sometimes love is just not
How come love is just not
Enough

thoughts

I am feeling.... lots of emotions lately...here's what I can compute what's going on in my head now...

1). I'm more accepting of losing mom.  She is still in my dreams, so I know she is around and loving us in the way that she can.  I love you so much mom, but I know you would tell me right now that I just have to carry on and tough it out, because that is exactly what you did when your parents went to Heaven.

2). In the need of getting on with my life, I am becoming more flexible by not having expectations of anything I once had.  Once I started to think that I was in complete control of my life, God stepped in and changed that.  I am here for a purpose to serve him ultimately, which I am still discovering...and probably will be for the rest of my life.  So we'll see what life brings in the future.. with the good and the bad....

3).  In loosing mom, I have re-discovered myself in a sense.  I believe she was destined to go to Heaven for a few reasons;
                           a). God needed her back.  ( I hope I get to find out why someday)
                           b). Her mission here on earth was completed.
                           c). My family and I can find our own path individually without mom's
                                influence (she was such a strong leader in our family that instead of us thinking on  
                                our own, we turned to her for advice on everything).

4). I hate that people don't understand what I am going through (besides my dad and sisters).  I have lost a couple friends that I thought would be around forever, only to find out, they only liked the "fun" Heather, and disregarded the Heather that was sad, depressed, and not herself.  The bad times will show you who truly cares.  Everyone is selfish to a certain point, but finding the friends that stick around during the horrible storm, will ultimately reap the benefits after the storm has passed.

Everyone will go through a hard time in this life.  How you react to it is what matters.  Who you surround yourself with is what matters. Just learn and apply the knowledge.  GROW. ALWAYS.

Smile!

Life

Life is full of surprises and shocks

while we are planning and deciding

our next move,

our course of action

It moves in opposite direction,

without warning

while we spend a lifetime, 

thinking and planning

about our future, 

our loved ones

It takes a step further beyond our thinking

everything about life is always uncertain

the only thing constant thing about it is 

it is always moving

so keep moving, 

keep smiling always

Source: Life Is full Of Surprises, Poem about Life Struggles http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/life-is-full-of-surprises#ixzz1wQgFaowv 
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com 

missin you

I miss you mommy.  It's been almost 4 months since you left, and on June 3rd, it will be your baby boy's birthday and the day you were diagnosed with cancer last year.  What a year......

I hope Heaven is a blast, I can't imagine how beautiful it must be.  God is surely happier than I because he has one of his best angels back in Heaven.

We all miss you so very much.  I am not whole anymore.  When you left, a part of me left with you.  I am broken.  I have turned to God to help save me, and he has thus far.  I just pray for strength for the family and I.  You were our rock, mom.  You were the glue that held this entire family together.  You were our EVERYTHING.

But, as they say, the only thing that doesn't change in life, is change itself. Change happened, and we must move on.  We will never forget you.  There is NEVER a day or a second you are not in my thoughts.  Every decision I make for the rest of my life will have a consideration of, "What would mom think or say about this?"

I love you mommy, with everything that I have.

Appreciate Life

“Appreciate Life”

by Janzynn May, Aug. 2, 2008

life is a precious gift not everyone can have,

some can live longer while others die young.lucky are those who have sight of the worldfor some develop blindness and others are born blind.blessed are those who can spend time with their familiesfor orphans are deprived to have one and those who live alone.be sorry to those who are unable to speakfor they cannot say the words they long to be heard.yet fortunate are those who are able to talkfor they have all the chances to say “I love you” to their loved ones.

gracious are those who have the sense of hearing

for they can listen and sing along to the music that heals their souls.blest are those with bright schemes and brilliant mindsfor they are the ones more favored to walk along the roads of success and prosperity.but happier are the poor and the averagefor they can easily find felicity and contentment with just what they have and with what they can have.pity to those who are sick and dyingfor they are running out of time to pursue and realize their dreams.blissful are we ’cause we are endowed with life’s best –our families, friends, food, shelter and wholeness.

so, open your eyes and thank GOD you’re alive.

go around and see the BEAUTY of the world.follow your DREAMS and realize them.spare TIME with your loved onesand grab every chance to say and show how much you LOVE thembefore TIME plays with you…

live your life like there is no tomorrow.