Love is not enough....

"Love Is Not Enough" by Jo Dee Messina


Sometimes I have to tell myself to keep on breathing
My heart is not believing you're gone
I try hard to remind myself time will do the healing
'Cause right now I'm not feeling all that strong

Everything's a memory
And they're taunting me
Just one simple thing
And I'll break down and cry

Chorus:
Why I wanna scream it's just not fair
Pray to god I didn't care
I wanna turn back time
Turn back time and have you here with me
I want to find someone to blame
But sometimes life gets in the way
And it doesn't care how much we love
'Cause sometimes love is just not enough

Oh we took a chance we gave it all we had and couldn't make it
It didn't work for all the times we tried
No matter how we loved, it seemed the odds were stacked against us
Now we have to live our separate lives

Well I'm not ready yet
Too much to forget
Oh it still feels like
A part of me is dying

Repeat chorus

Sometimes love is just not
How come love is just not
Enough

thoughts

I am feeling.... lots of emotions lately...here's what I can compute what's going on in my head now...

1). I'm more accepting of losing mom.  She is still in my dreams, so I know she is around and loving us in the way that she can.  I love you so much mom, but I know you would tell me right now that I just have to carry on and tough it out, because that is exactly what you did when your parents went to Heaven.

2). In the need of getting on with my life, I am becoming more flexible by not having expectations of anything I once had.  Once I started to think that I was in complete control of my life, God stepped in and changed that.  I am here for a purpose to serve him ultimately, which I am still discovering...and probably will be for the rest of my life.  So we'll see what life brings in the future.. with the good and the bad....

3).  In loosing mom, I have re-discovered myself in a sense.  I believe she was destined to go to Heaven for a few reasons;
                           a). God needed her back.  ( I hope I get to find out why someday)
                           b). Her mission here on earth was completed.
                           c). My family and I can find our own path individually without mom's
                                influence (she was such a strong leader in our family that instead of us thinking on  
                                our own, we turned to her for advice on everything).

4). I hate that people don't understand what I am going through (besides my dad and sisters).  I have lost a couple friends that I thought would be around forever, only to find out, they only liked the "fun" Heather, and disregarded the Heather that was sad, depressed, and not herself.  The bad times will show you who truly cares.  Everyone is selfish to a certain point, but finding the friends that stick around during the horrible storm, will ultimately reap the benefits after the storm has passed.

Everyone will go through a hard time in this life.  How you react to it is what matters.  Who you surround yourself with is what matters. Just learn and apply the knowledge.  GROW. ALWAYS.

Smile!

Life

Life is full of surprises and shocks

while we are planning and deciding

our next move,

our course of action

It moves in opposite direction,

without warning

while we spend a lifetime, 

thinking and planning

about our future, 

our loved ones

It takes a step further beyond our thinking

everything about life is always uncertain

the only thing constant thing about it is 

it is always moving

so keep moving, 

keep smiling always

Source: Life Is full Of Surprises, Poem about Life Struggles http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/life-is-full-of-surprises#ixzz1wQgFaowv 
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com 

missin you

I miss you mommy.  It's been almost 4 months since you left, and on June 3rd, it will be your baby boy's birthday and the day you were diagnosed with cancer last year.  What a year......

I hope Heaven is a blast, I can't imagine how beautiful it must be.  God is surely happier than I because he has one of his best angels back in Heaven.

We all miss you so very much.  I am not whole anymore.  When you left, a part of me left with you.  I am broken.  I have turned to God to help save me, and he has thus far.  I just pray for strength for the family and I.  You were our rock, mom.  You were the glue that held this entire family together.  You were our EVERYTHING.

But, as they say, the only thing that doesn't change in life, is change itself. Change happened, and we must move on.  We will never forget you.  There is NEVER a day or a second you are not in my thoughts.  Every decision I make for the rest of my life will have a consideration of, "What would mom think or say about this?"

I love you mommy, with everything that I have.

Appreciate Life

“Appreciate Life”

by Janzynn May, Aug. 2, 2008

life is a precious gift not everyone can have,

some can live longer while others die young.lucky are those who have sight of the worldfor some develop blindness and others are born blind.blessed are those who can spend time with their familiesfor orphans are deprived to have one and those who live alone.be sorry to those who are unable to speakfor they cannot say the words they long to be heard.yet fortunate are those who are able to talkfor they have all the chances to say “I love you” to their loved ones.

gracious are those who have the sense of hearing

for they can listen and sing along to the music that heals their souls.blest are those with bright schemes and brilliant mindsfor they are the ones more favored to walk along the roads of success and prosperity.but happier are the poor and the averagefor they can easily find felicity and contentment with just what they have and with what they can have.pity to those who are sick and dyingfor they are running out of time to pursue and realize their dreams.blissful are we ’cause we are endowed with life’s best –our families, friends, food, shelter and wholeness.

so, open your eyes and thank GOD you’re alive.

go around and see the BEAUTY of the world.follow your DREAMS and realize them.spare TIME with your loved onesand grab every chance to say and show how much you LOVE thembefore TIME plays with you…

live your life like there is no tomorrow.

Angels in the stars

Angels In The Stars © Sara Manis God saw I was getting tired as he put his arms around me as he whispered come with me There is a place for you in heaven where there is no suffering and no pain all you have to do is look up to the sky and know that you will see me As I am an angel in the stars what a great place to be I am an angel of God and a sparkle I shall be Know that I'm watching over you just look up and see I'm looking watching over you please don't be sad for me I'm your angel in the stars where I am happy now you will see and one day you will be with me Source: Angels In The Stars, Moving On Poem after Death http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/angels-in-the-stars#ixzz1sHhSeUoQ www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

quotes of mom

quotes mom said

January 29th, 2012 in the afternoon:

"Where are the gothic people?"

"We gotta do the plumbing."

"It's colorful" (mom was reaching out and grabbing things)

"Shiny"

"They're innocent"

"We have to go to the back to get the purple and orange bucket, and I don't want it to take 45 minutes again."

She looked up and raised her hand hand up

"She is a forty year old"

Mom: "Dad!"
Heather: "Do you see Dad?"
Mom: "A little bit."

Mom was drinking tea

"They don't change"

"Post office is 47 years old"

Heather gave her ice cream and she said, "No! You're really going to mess me up!"

"They have a lot of nerve! Who is coming to get me?!"

"25 dollars a year."

"None of the kids tomorrow when they wake up.  They don't have any of the experience like you do."
(talking to Heather)

She is eating and says, "It's lousy!"

She looks out the window and sees rain

Dad made her breathe
sally says, "You could spank him," and mom hit him

"It is beautiful."

"I need new furniture."

"They'll teach me, I'll track it down."

Sang "I'm a little teapot" with Dad

"I've never saw a dog like that"

Dad asked mom what she wanted, and she said hamburger with fries.

"Everybody wears the same outfits."

Picked up Lisa's hand and danced with her

"Satan is in the other place." then she talked about a second door through heaven and put hand to other door and said it was beautiful.

"goodnight everyone."

"What does dad say about the panel?"

Humming for a few seconds

"Looks like nice families"