Day 3 of chemo....

So today was day 3 of chemotherapy for momma.  She was pretty nauseous, fatigued, and emotionally drained.  I had a feeling this was how it was going to be, but I tried to remain positive, and will continue to do so...


She didn't eat or drink much today due to her nausea, so I called her oncologist.   He recommends her coming to his office tomorrow to get some IV fluids and anti-nausea meds.  Hopefully, he can order some other anti-nausea meds that will work for her at home.


I hate seeing her this way already into day 3 (I've heard that week 2 is the worst).  I keep telling her this is just temporary, and she won't have these symptoms forever.  I also tell her that these symptoms are indicating that the chemo is doing its job if she's feeling these side effects.  Although she hates it, I know when I say this she is comforted to know that the chemo is working.

Lisa and I came into her room tonight and rubbed her feet and gave her a facial.  I turned to my Pandora on my iphone and blasted the hawaiian music.  We kept joking that we were in hawaii and having a relaxing time.  I kept saying, "Mom once we're done with this chemo, we're headed there!" She just smiled and said, "I can't wait."  Lisa and I are planning on doing this massage/facial routine whenever we get the chance.  Doing this will make her feel better and that makes all the difference in the world.  We have the worlds greatest mom.  She deserves everything and more.  Love you momma!

Numb

Mom had her first round of chemo yesterday. Taxotere and Carboplatin is the current cancer killing cocktail of choice by her oncologist.  The chemo nurse, Kara, was my favorite nurse since this journey has began.  She took the time to talk to us.  Gave me tissue when I started to cry, and laughed with us when mom made this new experience light hearted with some cute jokes of hers.  I thanked Kara for being so sweet. We needed someone like her for round 1. I hope she's there for round 2.  


Got the results back from the PET scan yesterday after the chemo session.  BAD NEWS.  


Scan showed metastasis  to liver, measuring 3.2 x 2.9 cm, a small 4mm nodule in the right upper lobe of the lung, and a 1.8 cm right breast mass. 

SERIOUSLY 


Haven't we been through enough already?  


We cried as a family all night on our back porch swing.  Mom finally broke down for the first time.  I think we needed that.  


Numbness is now here.  Cancer, why are you attacking my beautiful mother?


GO AWAY 

Wigs and Faith

This past week has been a busy and emotional one!


Mom had her port a cath placed in her chest this week to prepare for chemotherapy. It was a lot more involved than I thought it would be. They had her arrive to the hospital at 5:30am again (just like her major surgery). When I talked to her the night before she said, "I have to get up at 4:00am again!" I don't think mom would mind all this cancer crap as much if she could get more sleep.


Luckily she was able to go back home and recover from the procedure later on that day. I believe she is already so tired of this hospital stuff. I know I am. Every time I drive by Sharp hospital--I cringe. I don't care how new or beautiful it is, it still makes me think of how much mom has been through there already. It's weird that I feel that way, I didn't think I would considering I work at a hospital, BUT it is totally different when a loved one is there.


I'd also had been telling mom we needed to find a place that sold nice wigs. Mom will not be that cancer patient that is fine with a bald head. She has always loved dressing up and looking nice even if she is just at home. Her greatest fear of this chemo was loosing her hair, so I knew we needed to put this as a priority and get it done. Thankfully there was a great place in Mission Valley, called Hair Unlimited. We had to decide if she wanted synthetic wig or real human hair wig (looks more natural). Claudia, the sales woman told us that with synthetic wigs, she could catch on fire if cooking at the stove. Although these synthetic wigs were cheaper, we chose the real human hair wigs because it is not a fire hazard =) Claudia was super sweet and helped put my mom at ease with this wig stuff.


Mom was nervous to try on the wigs at first, but then I think she kinda got into it :)

This was definitely not for mom! Rocker chick here. Told her to represent and throw out her rocker hand sign!

AND here is the winner! Mom put this on, and we were all amazed at how similar it looked to her real hair! Mom actually smiled when she put it on! The wig just looked lighter and longer! We can also add low lights to the wig, making it look closer to her natural hair.


Sooo MISSION ACCOMPLISHED with the first try! So relieved!




Another part of this week left me feeling very sad. One of my good friend's mother passed away from battling cancer for the past 2 years. It was strange because we were at Barnes and Noble last week talking about our mom's without knowing she would leave this world so soon. I was in shock when I found out she had passed even though I knew her illness was a bad prognosis. His mom had been through hell and back with her cancer battle.

Alex knew that his mom had the odds against her, but he had something I admired at that moment we were talking. He had a strong faith, and told me that his mom getting cancer was actually a blessing in disguise because it brought his family closer to each other. He got to truly appreciate those special moments with her. The funeral was beautiful and she looked at peace.I am thankful for that. His mom taught him to always pray and have a strong faith. I know she is now an angel in heaven and they will meet again.

Family Photo Beach Session @ La Jolla Cove

So before mom starts chemotherapy, I wanted a family photo session.  I was asking Kevin who I could have take our pictures, and he said Sandy Huffaker.  So I emailed him, told him we needed photos done asap, and he delivered.  Great photographer, great beach, with a great family makes for some lifetime memories. Thanks again, Sandy! You rock! Here's some of my favorites :)

chemotherapy here we come!

Had our first appointment with oncologist today.  Thank god he is super nice! Our family needed someone who was cheerful and seemed to actually care.  Mom starts chemo next week.  Hopefully she qualifies for a clinical trial medication too.  I know this will be rough on her and all of us, but she is very loved and we are going to take great care of her.  I was looking online and found this article about one cancer survivor, Greg, who was going through chemotherapy that gave me hope:

Greg - 6 Lessons I learned from my cancer

Lesson #1: Many more people genuinely care about you than you can possibly know - and they are ready to do everything in their power to help you through your treatment.

Lesson #2: God is NOT mean - sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Lesson #3: All big words have simple explanations - you just have to keep asking until you get it.

Lesson #4: Not all doctors are very good; but some doctors are outstanding; and personally dedicated to making you get well again. The same can be said for Nurses, Radiation Techs, and Receptionists. Take the time to find the really good ones.

Lesson #5: It's OK to have a bad day. You're sick; you don't have to happy about it.

Lesson #6: You're a LOT tougher than you think you are - you CAN DO this

http://www.chemocare.com/testimonials/Greg%20-%206LessonsIlearnedfrommycancer.asp

Soo here's my first blog ever...Never thought I would do this but thought this might help with my thoughts, feelings, or whatever it is that bloggers do.  So here it goes....This summer has flown by, and not for good reasons.   This is how it all went down:


The night of June 2nd, I went out to dinner and movies with some friend's when my dad called me.  When my phone rang at 10:30 at night, I thought, "Why is he calling so late? He never does this." So I answered...


"Hey dad! What's up, I'm in the movies right now, can I call you back?" "No",  my dad replies, "your mom and I just came home from urgent care.  She was peeing blood.  Her blood pressure is really high, so I am going to send her to bed for the night, and we are going to the doctor tomorrow morning to see what is going on." 


I immediately started crying because I had this gut reaction that something was terribly wrong. I answered, "Why did they send her home with a blood pressure that high, and when did this all start?" Many more questions were asked, but my main concern was my mom. Was she okay? What was really going on? 


So the next morning, off we went to the emergency room.  My mom got her own private room, they started monitoring her vital signs, and an IV was placed as standard protocol for the ER.  


While we were waiting for the doctor to come in, we talked about our upcoming trip to Hawaii that we had planned to leave for in the next 3 days... Mom said she wanted to go to a luau, dad wanted to enjoy the relaxing beaches, and I wanted to swim with dolphins.  This was going to be our first family trip!  We were so excited, but we were a little worried that something was definitely wrong with mom.. Sooo the plan was to fix whatever was wrong, then go on our tropical vacation. 

But, as it turned out, we had the worst timing in the world.  


The doctor finally comes in and talks to her, checks out her high blood pressure on the monitor, and proceeds to say, "The blood work came out normal, you probably just have a kidney stone with the symptoms you are having.  I can prescribe you some medication for your high blood pressure and you can still go on your trip."   


Instantly I thought, "Yay!!".... but about 5 seconds later, I changed my mind... Although that would have been great news that we could still go on our family vacation, there were still pieces to the puzzle that needed to be addressed.


We need to know what is really going on with mom. She has never had blood pressure that high, there has to be something that is causing it, and we have to figure it out now. 


So I asked the doctor if there is any test that they could do to check her kidneys out, and he said a CT scan might help, but it wasn't necessary to have one at this point.  I looked at my parents and then looked at the doctor, and said, "Please can we get that CT scan now?"  Doctor replied, "Sure thing, I will order that for her."


So I walked mom to the CT scanning room, and gave her a kiss.  "See you in a couple minutes mom."


After the scan was complete, the wheeled her back to the room where she was placed back on the gurney bed to wait for the results.  


45 minutes go by so we wait, and wait, and wait some more... Then the nurse comes in and says that the MD and a Urologist will be coming in to speak with us..."Hmmm," I thought, "Why would the urologist need to see my mom?"


So finally in comes the doctor with a flat affect on his face, a look that he was going to deliver some pretty bad news... He looks into my mom's eyes as I am sitting there right next to her, holding her hand, and says, "The CT scan came up abnormal.  It looks like you have cancer in your left ureter."


Our smiles became flat, our emotions numb.  It was surreal. I held on to my mothers hand just a little stronger. She gave me a hug and a kiss, and I began to cry. Mom said, "It doesn't make sense, I've never drank or smoked. I've always taken care of myself. How did this happen?"  I replied, "I don't know either mom, I don't understand, all I know is that I love you mom."

Cancer has changed me and my families life forever.  Having a loved one diagnosed with cancer is something that I would never wish upon my worst enemy.  


So to sum everything up, these past two months we've gotten CT's, MRI's, blood work, consults, and massive surgery out of the way to remove the tumor (which she's recovered beautifully from) She's a fighter, and I know she will fight the fight that is coming her way.  


"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." ~Eleanor Roosevelt